Ironman Wales 2023

Paul Oyston

I didn't intend to do a poem but changed my mind this afternoon when thinking of a certain someone you will read about below. I present

The Welsh Encounter: An ode to Smelly Barry

Welcome to my race report, I hope you stick around
Just like the the roads round Tenby, there’s plenty ups and downs
There’s not much talk of anguish, or dragons to be slain
Instead I’ll tell of a man, I never met, and never will again

But back to the start, a sunny day in Wales
Registration, nerves, fear that I could fail
Feeling anxious, about a strange knee injury
That cut my hardmoors 110 short, around mile seventy

Underprepared, undertrained, the usual trepidation
No matter how many times I’ve done this, its the same situation
A good nights sleep on Saturday, I woke up feeling good
Plenty of toast and juice, I couldn't face rice pud

My bike was all ready, racked with upmost care
I walked out of transition, with 2 minutes to spare
Met Aaron and Mally as we headed to the sea
Sporting a full bladder, I couldnt wait to pee

The anthem blasted across the beach, I managed not to cry
The moisture was in my bladder, nowhere near my eyes
A quick high five from Humey, I said good luck to Ste
And then the swim had started, the nerves had been let free

Out to the first buoy, the tide was pushing back
I’d been assured by Neptune, the tide it would be slack
Not many kicks received, only one light slap
It didn't feel too long, till I was on my second lap

The sea was flat and calm
The temperature ideal
Not one sight of a jellyfish
Or randy looking seal

Finally out the water
Just a short walk up the ramp
I found my pink carrier bag
And got my trainers nice and damp

The run towards transition, was long but well supported
I’ve never felt anything like it, was as good as had been reported
Saw Humey again and the rest of the supporting stags
Into the tent, to find my transition bags

The bike started lovely, nice and flat but with intense heat
I settled into my rhythm and had something to eat
Every twenty minutes, I stuffed something in my face
I had to keep my energy up, it would be a long race

Plenty of fluids, plenty of salt, I even ate banana
It wouldn't be til mile 90, that I had any drama
Before that, we had Saundersfoot, and Lovely, Wisemans Bridge
where , I was verbally accosted as I climbed the hilly ridge

‘Oh here comes smiler’ I heard the geezer shout
‘He’s from Hartlepool’ said his mate, the drunken lout
‘Go on smiler f*ck off up this hill’ I heard amongst the din
‘Yeah p*ss off smiler from Hartlepool’ the rest of the group chimed in

Heartbreak hill appeared, Humey asking if I was burning
I’m not sure I responded, I think I was just gurning
Up to the top, where the Stags cheered me on
High fives and smiles there was one lap gone

And on the final lap of the course, was where I did meet
The man called Barry, who swept me off my feet
As he passed me on his Trek, i’m sure that he had drafted
But soon it didn't matter, cos from him something wafted

A smell that you don't usually smell, during a long tri
Cos let's be honest, it's hard to keep your breath fresh, and your armpits dry
Not the smell of weewee or farts that smell like a grave
Not the scent of ham or cheese, but lovely aftershave

Barry you smell glorious, i just don't understand
Do you have CK one, excreting from your glands
Maybe Izzey Miyake, or Creed, if you are rich
Every time you passed me, you made my nostrils twitch

I moved a little closer, to confirm my suspicion
That this, ironman in waiting, didn't smell like he’d been fishing
And yes, it was surely him, he’d sprayed himself with scent
I was confused, impressed, no idea what this meant

As we parted ways, I passed him one last time
I couldn't leave it like this, the chance was now mine
I didn't want to put him off, that would not be great
As I overtook him, I shouted, ‘you smell glorious mate’

The bike was almost over, my spirits fairly dampening
One silly push up a hill, left my left hammy cramping
The heat had left me vulnerable, i took on extra salt
The cramp began to go away, I was partly at fault

And so i took it easy, over the last few climbs
My left leg was still twitching, just trying to remind
I saw the lads and lasses, at the top of heartbreak hill
A high five and some hugs from all, the whole thing was a thrill

Back into the town of Tenby, to finish off this phase
The atmosphere remained electric, I really was amazed
Racking up the bike, I got ready for some fun
To face the final challenge, the nasty, dreaded run

The first two miles were really grim, In my rush to fly
I’d filled my face with tablets that left my mouth all dry
With no stop for ages, I shuffled through the heat
To the first feed station, the water was so sweet

Along the course, all 4 laps
I tried to keep it clever
Stay hydrated, keep it salty
This run wasn't forever

Soon it would be over
If my knee would stay strong
I paced myself and soon enough
Half the run was gone

On the back and forths, I saw my fellow team
Ste said hello, Clare looked strong, Andreas smile still beamed
Mally was clearly focussed, he held onto his plan
Aaron said he was tired but he would soon be an Ironman

Onto my final, grueling lap, the sun had fully set
I walked a bit of the hill and then I finally let
My legs take me back home, into the bouncing town
I saw a drunk man eating pizza, his trousers falling down

Families shouting, people dancing
music, fires and fun
Were just a few of the sights
I’d seen around the run

But now it was almost over, and instead of turning right
Straight on to the carpet to see a glorious sight
The red carpet lined with people, a bell I had to ring
As I made it towards the finish line, my heart began to sing

Cos even in the moments, where it's all going okay
There’s still the nagging doubt you have, that things could slip away
But when you see that finish line, you finally know you can
Hear those famous words at last, you are an Ironman

Clare Louise Farrell

Race report - Tenby Ironman Wales 2023

SWIM 3.8km 

Standing on Tenby beach listening to the national anthem bellowing out by the Welsh men’s voice choir, tears streaming down my face, watching it so many times on you tube did not even come close to the emotions I felt that morning. A mixture of wishing Shaun was there with me as it was our bucket list race and the feelings of absolute dread of how the day will go knowing the challenges that lay ahead of me.

Grateful to have team mate Andrea there by my side, a quick hug and then boom Thunderstruck AC/DC and fire bellowing up in the air! 

The sun rose over the most stunning bay and we were off, stomach was churning with excitement and pure dread.

Swimming has never been my strong point and lack of long swims were worrying me. 2000 athletes, only 10% females as the course is so hard to complete. 

The line was moving closer , too late to turn back, shaking with nerves , the edge of the water drew closer and next minute I was in………shit! Stayed on the left side and took a wide berth to swim alone as I feel too much anxiety in a pack and mostly men who wouldn’t give a hoot about a few women. Swam steady and kept my heart rate down, sighted to the first buoy great , turn and a long swim parallel to the bay , next minute a boat was beside me tapping on my head as I had gone 100 m off course ! Swam back to the buoy and it was just stunning looking across at Tenby and felt nothing but gratitude for the opportunity to race here and grateful for my body to be healthy to allow it.

Made it to the second turn point and felt good and a swim back into the beach boom 1.9 km done, a quick run along the beach and the crowds were screaming and music playing was spectacular. Jumped back in the water and the realisation that I had to do that again and battled with my thoughts in my head ! The current on the second lap was brutal and I struggled to get around, I had to take breaks to take deep breathes as I was panicking. Finally got to the second turn point and was pushed under the buoy by someone and felt so scared, clung onto it and pulled myself out and it took my breath away. Come on Clare you’ve got this ! Battling against the current felt like you were swimming in the spot and it took all my energy to get through it.

Looked up and could see the beach, just one last push to the shore. As I was approaching I could hear the crowds, a slower swim for everyone due to the currents but I did it and made it into Transition. The crowds were electric as I ran across the beach, then a challenging iconic 1 km uphill run winding your way up to transition. Finding your infamous pink bag hanging on the railings , washed my feet, wetsuit off and trainers on.

I was so happy to see my friends from Hartlepool Triathletes and Amy from TriBelles 

The crowds lining the beach and streets were just unbelievable, I’ve never experienced anything like it, the whole of Tenby is out cheering, dancing, singing and supporting. 

Quick change and out on the bike, this part I was very nervous as I hadn’t got the bike rides in due to injury and a virus so didn’t know how I would cope. To cut a long story short I fell off 3 times going up the hills in the first 30 km as my chain was coming off and getting stuck . The third time I sat in a hedge crying as I thought I couldn’t go on as my bike was not working , I was so upset and thought it was game over. A lovely lady came over and sent for a mechanic who’s only option was to stick it on the large gear but I had to leave it on there for the rest of the bike ride 150 km WTF 

I’ll never forget His words to me ‘ right come on wipe those tears, compose yourself and get back on the bike, it’s going to be a tough bike for you in that gear but just get out there and do your best ‘

Well he wasn’t wrong stuck on the large gear on the hilliest bike course ever was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, grinding up the hills my quads and calf muscles were on fire but I did it ! 

The bike course although challenging 8500ft of elevation was just spectacular and the views were incredible. I got my nutrition spot on and surprisingly felt good, the famous climb at Saunders foot was like you were in the Tour de France and lined with hundreds of people shouting for you, so amazing to see the Hartlepool Triathletes at this point. 

The whole course was lined with spectators and every village you went through there was a party and banging music, you felt like a celebrity, the Welsh certainly know how to do it! 

I had so many shout outs as they loved my pink bike and Stomp the pedal kit 

Two little girls shouted out when we grow up we want to be just like you! If we can I inspire others on our journey it makes it all worth it.

Came off the bike and happy just to complete it as I only had the use of my big chain ring it was quite a challenge and so proud of myself for getting through it.

Into T2 drop the bike and quick shoe and hat change then out on the hilly run course, let’s do this woop 

Having not done and runs I had to be sensible so Started off running 9 mins, walking 1 min, first 10 km just over an hour happy days !! 

Then chatting to others on the course realised it was far too hilly to keep at this pace, so walked the hills and ran the flats, the course was 4 loops taking you back into Tenby every loop running through the cobbles and thousands of people were cheering and slowly getting more drunk each lap!!! 

I’ve never been so happy to see the Hartlepool Triathlete’s on the second loop cheering me on. Right halfway 21/2 hrs 21.1 km done let’s do this 

Nutrition was getting harder to stomach as my insides were churning, aware I would bonk I sipped coke and tried to get a gel in me which made me vomit but just got to keep going. The last 2 laps are just a mental battle with yourself , your stomach and your body, everything hurts and you are just numb from the waist down, the hills are getting higher, the roads are getting longer and you are fighting all those thoughts that are telling you to stop ! but the crowds are just incredible to keep you motivated! You meet so many people and get chatting , everyone has a why and are battling the same demons.

Running out on the last 10 km took every once of energy, I could only stomach coke as nothing solid would stay down, shaking , hurting all over but determined to finish, it was getting closer as i descend into the town to run the final lap around Tenby, everyone was shouting and screaming with encouragement and I had a smile from ear to ear. As I turn the corner and see the red carpet tears are streaming down my face and the emotions I felt of sheer joy, elation was beyond wales, all my team mates clapping me down the red carpet was something I’ll never forget, thank you Hartlepool Triathletes you are just the best 

I crossed the line, arms in the air and i’d done it, I slayed the dragon, completed one of the hardest Ironman courses in the world. 15 hrs 08 mins 

The time was irrelevant to me, the experience, the challenge, the emotions, the support was beyond any event I’d ever experienced.

Thank you to all my friends, family and team mates who continually support me , it means the world