Ironman Wales 2023

Malcolm Kelly

Slaying the dragon

To start, I really enjoyed this race which I never thought I’d say

The last 3rd of each event is where I felt the pain but that’s what it’s all about ha ha x

Wow well where do I start with this!

What a journey from sitting in my living room over 9 months ago with my family thinking whether to press register for Ironman Wales to now sitting here doing the finishers report.

The twists and turns, not thinking I could get all the training in for it, for family reasons, then things changing back in my favour to do it at least 4 times.

Over the last 9 month the target was to do at least 9 training sessions a week, which probably never happened once. 

Things felt good in all my training sessions especially not big injuries, it was just getting the time to do them

( I do know that is an excuse as there was always early hours in mornings) but life was hard,, work and having 2 kids to look after a lot with there mam been in and out of hospital.

I just thought I wouldnt get enough training in and knew Ironman Wales if you’re not prepared you ain’t finishing.

The final 15 weeks I think I done less sessions but made the ones I done into longer sessions, Longer swim, bikes and runs.

I also started to train Specifically to the race, Swimming in Bisopton then in last 6 weeks in the sea and by saying in the sea, I mean a rough sea which is how I got my calf injury.

Bike hills on Zwift and Sundays Over Roseburry topping area on the hills and the Run Worsot Lane reps, so less sessions but more specific and longer.

Couple little races before but the last big one, Steelman, they cancelled the bike and the run was boggy so I just done the swim & soon as I got home done 60+ mile on turbo trainer,

I was absolutly gutted about the Steelman as I was going for Half Ironman distance PB.

Anyway done some long bike and run hilly sessions and I had done what I could.

Still not enough in my mind but it was time,’ing myself now.

Friday came, 10 clock beep, beep, outside, squeeky bum time, Julie Ann Edwards and Niall Crosby outside ready for the long Journey ahead, my 50 bags into the car and off we went to pick Faye Caley up then on way. I remember babelling away on the way there but it was mostly the nerves I think because I think I kept repeating myself a few times ha ha.

Anyway we got there (Alive I might add as Niall nearly put me through the windscreen, but hey he was taking me so we just laughed it off ha ha. Got to Aaron caravan where were Aaron Kemp and Sarah were chilled, Aaron calm as a cucumber, me having lumps in my pumps by this time.

Got Pizza and an early night, the rest of that night went good except Niall snoring and banging his head or arms off the wall while we slept, (what else happened in the bedroom, staying in the bedroom ha ha nudge nudge wink wink 

Saturday was registration day for me, 

All went down and got me registered woo hoooo

I’m actually not sure what order we done things on Saturday as it is still a bit of a blur to me.

while there me and Aaron decided to get a massage, the bloke said to me my calfs sounded and felt like he was poping bubble wrap and were in a mess ha ha, just what I wanted to hear. 

Also got my photo took for there collage while getting the massage done.

The Bit Niall loved is I got to put on these two big leg things that pump up on the legs, the lass said will put it on level 3, me sat there thinking these are, Niall laughing as she hadnt even pressed the on button but I think Niall turned it off, looked up at him laughing his head off at me ha ha.

Met up with rest of the team, had a chat then I cant remember if we went for food first but it was great to chat to everyone, few photos later then hit the beach with Niall and Aaron looking for Girls whoops I mean looking for there girls and Faye lol, got an Ice cream to look cool then back Caravan.

Transition, took Bike and Nutrition, well, I call it nutrition, was Gels and Chocolate ha ha.

Back Caravan went out to watch match Newcastle terrible, then we all got food again food.

Julie (thank you so much) dropped me off at Hotel after where I was wrecked but got kept awake by some woman in room below shouting her head off till 1 clock, I had to put music on TV to drown the noise out.

Race day 

Alarm 3:15, up ready make sure I had everything ready, again Julie picked me up, took me to caravan where I finished off the final touches,

Julie (the star) dropped me and Aaron off to race 

into transition, checked my tryes and needed air, my valve only bent but a man with a million Alan Keys came over and sorted it phew.

Went into transition tent and met up with Aaron Ste and Paul, couple photos later and we were on way to the sea.

REPORT

Walk to the beach

Walking down towards beach was mad, crowds already building, cheering people laughing and joking me trying to make conversation with Aaron Paul and Ste then we were at a holt in a street for at least 15 minutes not sure what was going on but eventually got moving, here we go

Hung the pink bag on fence, got onto the beach heard the shouts from our team supporters, seen Paul Hume and Jude, think it was a shake of the hand then me and Aaron jumped into the 1hr 20 swim pen, christened the wet suit again lol. The Wales national anthem came on, emotions building trying to hold the tears back as I didnt want my goggles to steam up (my fear) Aaron wasnt talking as much now, fireworks went off,****’ing my pants lol, then we were shouted to go.

Just getting into the water and heard all this shouting of my name, the best supporters in the world were there cheering me on (they were all in the water he he mad) which gave me a massive boost, then I was in the swim.

Swim 

Went off, felt perfect, didnt panic stayed on the edge of the pack and to the first buoy everything went to plan, then the first long stretch, was going really well, sighting every 6 full stroke, all clear, then out the blue people started swimming across me or hitting me on there stroke, 5 minutes later that was it, I lashed out anyone attempting that was getting side kicked or a slap of my arm on them, obvisoly not as good at sighting as me ha ha ha. Last couple turns before heading back to the beach for lap 2 but Then last 200 meters on the stretch to beach, oh no, cramp is starting in both calves and by the time I get to a standing position in the water it was also in my hamstring, struggled getting out, seen Aaron give him a shout but he was in the Zone. Got On beach and done some stretching even against the barrier and thought sod it, lets get in for Lap 2, just thought relax and stretch in water which worked, first turn yes 2 long stretches left. same thing happening with getting pushed and shoved but then all of a sudden I look up and there is a boat in the middle of the swim, people going round it both ways, needed to decide my route, which took me into the pack, next couple turns I was well in the mix of people. These last 2 long stretch’s felt loads harder than the first lap, felt like I wasnt moving at times. Last turn and now a new problem, my shoulder was killing due to a old injuy but no way I was gonna stop, pushed through and before I knew it I was out the water, YESSSSS.

Run to Pink bag and Transition

Jogging up to pink bag, I hear a shout, Mally Mally, was Hummy and Judy, another energy boost Yess. Got the bag, trainers on, wetsuit half down and off I went, joggin to transition 

I felt great now, legs were getting blood pumped back into them so enjoyed this jog and crazy crowd.

Jogging along with wetsuit half down and no top on, no doubt there was loads of women druling wanting this sexy body but I had no time to give out my number so Sorry to you all (ha ha ha) I wish)

Just about to come round last couple hundered meters and there again was all the Hartlepool Stags shouting loads of insperational stuff to me, what a buzz, and thats where I fill up, deep breath, fist in the air and back to transition.

Transition

Not to good in here, Nutrition all over the place and needed sorting, not to bothered at this point as objective was to finish.

Seen Ste Oyston, in and straight out, Aaron kemp in and out ha ha then it was my turn

Bike

Off on the bike where I came down the stretch to see all the stags once more going crazy, loved it. Now Richard Starrs talked me through bike and I knew not to go out to fast but I got in my Aero bars and like the Big Lime felt strong so with not much over effort I started to pick people off. Talked to Aaron for a bit then he told me to do one before we get warned ha ha.

Got all way out about 20 mile near the beach, took on salt tablets again but this time swallowed a fly as well and honestly I nearly choked, I couldnt breath, thought I was going to have to stop, loads of fluids down and wouldnt clear then a few massive coughs and whatever it was came up ha ha ha

Off I went 34 Mile in and feeling perfect, then, the dreaded hiss of a puncture, Noooooo back wheel puncture, clipped out, turned bike upside down, new inner tube in. At this time Aaron and Andrea Windram passed me but I told them to keep going ill be fine. wheel back on and Noooo, pump wouldnt pump inner tube up. Took the pump on and off at least 5 times before I got 60lb pressure in. Man in the van pulls up, Aid station only 3 mile up road mate, they will have a pump. Rode 3 mile and no way, no one has a pump, tried to get more air in with my pump but nothing happening except more coming out. Waited few more minutes still no one with pump and knew time was ticking so thought sod it, ill have to just try, so off I went praying no more flat tyres.

Hilly loop X2, 1st loop onto the start of the hills then got to Sandersfoot Bank, Hummy and Judy once again shouting come on Mally keep it going, then it was time to climb, all the team screaming, come on Mally you can do this and I was actully fine, they went crazy which made me get out my seat and power up ha ha. Loop 2 seen more people gettting flaat tyres so I was thinking again please nothing bad happen.

After puncture I still wasnt fully back in the game as people were taking over me and asked a few people about cut off and they were worried which worried me but I left them for dust and off I went again. By mile 90 my feet were in agony and all I could think about is getting my traininers on ha ha. Now back to these banks People were off there bikes walking, I thought no way I’m doing that, I have it in me to do them all again, (thanks to Vanessa Cox) she taught me the rules of climbing and was proud of myself how good I actuslly felt on them, no thought of getting off my bike,

Here we go 1 last hill everyone shouted then the roar of the Stags, come on Mally you can do this, Jim Windram jogging beside me come on Mally you can do it, everyone started Mally Mally Mally then others joined in, I was famous ha ha one last look at all the crazy stags and over the bank and head towards transition only to find one more big bank ha ha ha wasn’t expecting that one.

Transition

Bike racked, toilet, Changed and not as much nutrition as planned to carry, had some biscuits and drink, this was a bit of a blare but sure Aaron was in there and set off few minutes before me but I cant remember lol, then off I went out on the run

Run 

Now I was off that bike feeling good, first lap was great, seen all the stags and tried a different pose each time I passed them ha ha that kept my brain entertained, think they liked it to be fair as they screamed at me lol. First 7 mile I remember feeling strong but also knew that would only last and at some stage I’d feel like I’ve been shot 

@ 3.5 mile I got my first wrist band, 1 down 3 to go.

2nd loop up that massive long bank felt twice as long this time but kept thinking about that 2nd band. Think this is the first time I Seen Clare Louise Farrell and then a couple times after that, She gave me a few words of encouragement and then we had passed. After that I was just doing what ever I could to keep going. Think id seen Paul Oyston and near the town caught up to him but he was on 3 bands so he was lap ahead. kept with him through the town and we both passed the barmy Stags together so we could get even more photos ha ha, Stags still going wild, wow the energy they have is amazing. 3rd lap I started walk jog walk I knew this would come more often now got to that 3rd wrist band Yesssss give me it ha ha Jogged down the hill met up with Andrea this time and stayed with her till we passed the stags again, not saying I like the way I look but I did love all these photos and everyone going mad ha ha. 

Last lap started off with Andrea, honestly she looked like she had just started a 5k or something, she looked fresh as a daisy ha ha, think she was on cloud 9 or full of something so I sneaked off incase she spiked me with whatever she was on ha ha, up the hill and got that 4th band COME ON, come so far down the hill again, and again seen Andrea, think she was skipping this time PMSL, might have been me who was on something 

Here we go, I can hear the music, I come round the last corner only to see the full street full of people going mad, Ill never find the Stags in this, then just before the red carpet it went a bit quiet, then BOOM, Mally Mally Mally you’ve done it Mally you’ve done it, all the Stags started going off it, then loads more people did to.

Now Richard stars told me to enjoy the end so I walked towards all the stags barmy army who (Now are my best friends) gave them high, low & side high 5's, no more running from me, gonna enjoy this moment, done my usal Arms out wide, shoulder height and walked through the finnish line TO HEAR, MALCOLM KELLY YOU ARE AN IRONMANNNNNNN

TIME 16Hrs 07Mins